Mapped

This place is mapped. I know where I am. On the bus between Hollywood and Santa Monica. In the traffic on Lamar in the morning. Arriving at Mornington Crescent. Standing on the sea wall by the estuary at night in my pajamas, a boy in awe of the thunder crashing over the breaking waves. In an airport.

All marked on my heart’s map of the world, the map that is me. My heart beats anxiously, works hard to remember, asks, “How does this feel?” and again remembers. I remember that yesterday at Sunset and Hollywood I felt alive, but then I’d had a drink. I was there, they are there. All of you. “We’re here,” my heart says, “this is not a map,” as my heart maps.

My knees bend as I move over the concrete. I’m walking. So are these other people, things I must avoid. I’m wearing a backpack. There’s not much in it. I could be anywhere. I can be anywhere. Of course I must be here to get there. I remember I’m holding a cup of coffee. I’m breathing deeply, but the air around the earth is thin. The earth is not a map. I remember I’m hungry. The map predicts, but doesn’t know. The heart knows, but only what the heart already knows. The earth is still not still beneath my feet. My heart maps me to the movement of my feet.

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