resentful, hurt… quick notes

larry – resentment is eating poison and waiting for the other person to die.

nevertheless, here we go. larry says….

jodi perceives me as her mother – initially i responded that way

i perceived her to be my mother. this is crucial says larry – does jennifer understand this?

after last week’s bc we talked about the holding hands – her perception of being reined in. that IS her stuff. needs to be taken out of the perception. she hugs everybody else but me, is my perception. we really have set up a bad dynamic, to use the word my mother did not understand

why does jodi not share with me, trust me… my perception is that i come last all the time.

even if this is all wrong, it helps to write it down.

bc this morning was partly great fun – contact with tom, brandon, micah, and then partly hell. sometimes i feel she won’t even smile at me.

and then a great chat with my mum, fresh from her latest theatrical conquest, and a chilly vacation in the norfolk broads. she talked to j, we told her about italy, as though my heart not breaking all the time.

oh well, we go on, a nice afternoon, windy and rain, j gone to work with the hippie magician.

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